The Art of Holding Space

A dear friend of mine, teacher and mentor sits tonight. Sits tonight with grief and sorrow. Sits tonight with defamation of character at the hands of malicious intent. I know her heart and her soul. And you all, it's gorgeous and filled with the most beautiful golden light. She emanates this high buzzing energy. But mainly, she exudes love. Ooey gooey love. My heart is heavy for her tonight.

Tonight she bleeds out little Eve, her 11th little soul baby that has briefly existed in this earthly realm through the comforts of her womb. Tonight her soul weeps for loss and aches for answers.

When you can't hold someone physically, you can be mindful and intentional about holding them in your heart and soul. Holding space for them. Today, in the crisp, not too sure if it's winter or spring air, I held. I held close and tight. Laura Em, I hope you felt it.

I gathered thirteen quartz points. Two large. Laura Em and Tyler. Eleven small. Each soul baby. Eve included. With written intentions and prayers infusing the space, I dug my hands in the dirt. I buried the crystals. The large ones side by side with prayers on top. Moist dirt holding it close in the earth. One by one I buried the last eleven. Spiraling around. Holding momma and daddy within their womb from the spiritual realm.

Adorned with calendula petals, lavender buds, snail shells Leena collected and wild flowers she picked, then topped with deep purple berries, the spiral was complete.

On a hill by our future garden, you are held.

In my heart and my soul, you are held.

Sometimes space holding comes in the form of moist earth under fingernails and sea salt caramels bubbling away on the stove.

And I promise. All dirt was removed from underneath my fingernails before creating caramels.

Only Love.

Katelyn

I bid you farewell.

If you asked me if I would change anything about 2012 I'd have to say, no, I would not. Are there moments I wish never happened because of the growing pains that went along? Most definitely. But those moment were the ones that were necessary in order for me to grow not only as a mother but to grow into my own, fully. I've shown myself that I have more strength then I ever thought possible. Strength to use my words when I had to and even more strength to not use my words when caught in the cycle of ego.

Talking with my beautiful friend Rain tonight she mentioned her journey home to herself. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! That is exactly what this last year has been. The final push to my journey home, finally having home within myself. It's usually a road paved with obstacle, treachery and hardship but to overcome all that you come out on the other side into this glorious field of the most succulent wildflowers. I've made wildflower angels in this space.

This next year is about not only maintaining this beautiful field but to grow it deeper. Water it fully. Dig my hands in and make an impact. You, my love, my beautiful wild woman, soul sister, I am adorning you in wildflower crowns and bathing you in sweet scents of nectar. This is my holy land.

It's time you find your own field of wildflowers and together, we can cover the earth in dew covered petals grown in the light.

I thank you, my tribe of badass women, for holding space for me through this time of major upheaval and transition. I thank you, 2012, for this year of growth and learning. I thank you universe for taking us into the new age and bringing so much enlightenment, so much awareness and for helping to lighten the load of burden and of guilt I once carried.

So I ask you, m'dears, what can you leave behind in 2012 that no longer serves you?

Peace and Love.

Katelyn