Being Held.

After taking sometime to hold myself in the light, the negative voices telling me I wasn't good enough or wasn't worthy of the love I show others have left the building. I am worthy and good enough. I do know this. I did, I held myself, pretty damn hard. I squeezed and wouldn't let go until the thoughts had no choice but to submit to the love and learn to love the light. The negative was turned into the light and became a huge source of motivation for me.

Don't you hate that? When you are going along, living a life of purpose, then BAM! Darkness creeps in. I think I gave too much of my good mojo, witchy woo-woo, whatever you want to call it, away at one time and didn't keep enough to sustain me at the moment. And I am actually okay with that because I was holding some really amazing women as tight as I could. They needed it way more than I did at that time. But, I have learned when to take a bit of space for myself to recoup. Recover and re-energize. I have learned how to sustain myself so I do not burn myself out again.

I fully expect that I will have those moments of darkness, even after awareness happens, life still gives you the ups and downs. I do not expect life to be constant streams of light because sometimes you just have to sit in the scary dark because it has lessons, important lessons, to teach as well. What is that saying?

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." -Galileo

Yes, beautiful stars. If there was never any darkness, we'd never have reason to appreciate the light. We'd never see the twinkling of stars and the glow of the moon. And through the darkness, we see the best in humanity, the best in ourselves.

And you'll see, lovely sisters and brothers, that when you start holding yourself and holding others, that the universe has love to show you. Love to pour out to you. I am learning to accept being held by others and by the universe. It always provides.
Thank you, sweet soul sisters, who have been holding me. Either through letters in the mail, gifts from the heart, emails, messages, and so on. I feel your embrace. I feel your love. And oh, OH am I ever so appreciative. Thank you. Thank you.

The pouring out of love has come in the form of feathers from lovely soul sisters helping me to build a smudge fan filled with love, filled with good energies and filled with loving intention.

It also came in the form of surprise gifts in the mail that were so filled with love. This was the kind of gift that made tears well up in my eyes out of the thoughtfulness of others. The kindness of women who you don't need to know in the physical world to be connected with, it's astounding.

I feel held.

Only love and light,

Katelyn

P.S. If you are called to send a feather along for my smudge fan, one found in nature not purchased from a store, I would love it and cherish it. You can send it along to Katelyn Demidow P.O. Box 1474 Sulphur, LA 70664

The Art of Holding Space

A dear friend of mine, teacher and mentor sits tonight. Sits tonight with grief and sorrow. Sits tonight with defamation of character at the hands of malicious intent. I know her heart and her soul. And you all, it's gorgeous and filled with the most beautiful golden light. She emanates this high buzzing energy. But mainly, she exudes love. Ooey gooey love. My heart is heavy for her tonight.

Tonight she bleeds out little Eve, her 11th little soul baby that has briefly existed in this earthly realm through the comforts of her womb. Tonight her soul weeps for loss and aches for answers.

When you can't hold someone physically, you can be mindful and intentional about holding them in your heart and soul. Holding space for them. Today, in the crisp, not too sure if it's winter or spring air, I held. I held close and tight. Laura Em, I hope you felt it.

I gathered thirteen quartz points. Two large. Laura Em and Tyler. Eleven small. Each soul baby. Eve included. With written intentions and prayers infusing the space, I dug my hands in the dirt. I buried the crystals. The large ones side by side with prayers on top. Moist dirt holding it close in the earth. One by one I buried the last eleven. Spiraling around. Holding momma and daddy within their womb from the spiritual realm.

Adorned with calendula petals, lavender buds, snail shells Leena collected and wild flowers she picked, then topped with deep purple berries, the spiral was complete.

On a hill by our future garden, you are held.

In my heart and my soul, you are held.

Sometimes space holding comes in the form of moist earth under fingernails and sea salt caramels bubbling away on the stove.

And I promise. All dirt was removed from underneath my fingernails before creating caramels.

Only Love.

Katelyn