The Brink

When life and death intertwines. It seems to always intertwine. Life and death, merging, working together. As when a soul enters into human existence it teeters, on the edge, on the brink. How delicate the birth processes are. How delicate the death processes are. To float in between, between the realms of human existence and spiritual existence. In a way, we are constantly finding this balance. Sometimes we need to swim in the waters of crossing over to really know how to come into the realm of physically being.​ Eyes not focusing, heart rate slowing. Gearing up to take the world, full speed ahead. And then, that exhale. That deep release into allowing the soul to settle into your human flesh. Foreign at first.

Being let into women's birthing spaces is something I don't take lightly. I leave all my anxieties outside. I enter and remove my shoes. Wash my hands. A physical representation of the cleansing I am mentally doing. Meditate and set a circle of protection around everyone involved and the space we are sharing for the day. Then, I slowly enter. I peel back a little bit of the protective circle and close myself within. I immerse. It could be the first time I am meeting you in the physical sense but once I enter that circle, you are forever a part of my life and I am forever a part of yours. I honest to goodness do not take that lightly. ​

As a baby emerges from the soft, comforting space of his or her mother's womb it really is a balancing act. And, well, I am processing it all. Being shown just how easily a soul can slip away and then reenter again, into their physical body, it's just something that will change you, no matter what. I am humbled to watch the teetering. To bear witness to the cycle. ​To be able to fully celebrate a little soul, really fighting for it's spot in this earth. And by god, do they fight.

​None of this may make sense and maybe it's not supposed to. It doesn't make sense fully in my own mind. All I know is that yes, I am processing.

And today? Today changed me.

Welcome little fighter soul.​

Love and light.​

Katelyn

I am magic.

I've touched on a bit how when I was younger I felt this magical presence within my body. I had forgotten about it over the years as I conformed more to religion and less to myself. Locked away behind a hundred tiny doors where these missing pieces of me. The keys were lost for a great deal of time.

Slowly digging my hands in I would unearth a precious little key and open a door here and a door there. Turn a corner to another locked door. Confused, but hopeful the keys would show themselves to me. Soul sisters, warrior women, baba yagas, they helped light lanterns, put a flame to unlit candles and dig with me in the dark shadowy places, the night, unaware of the impact they had on my search. A treasure hunt. Words guiding me. And intuition as my Polaris.

A couple weeks ago a very essential key was found. Hidden in plain sight. Waiting at my feet with a little note attached that said, "It is time." No longer hesitant and with a sure heart, I indeed agreed. It is time. I unlocked the door and was flooded with a feeling I wasn't quite expecting.

Relief.

I feel myself. Completely. Wholly.

Immersing myself in this magical realm, I find familiarity. I find that heart of a little girl, who believed in herself, now residing in my chest alongside knowledge gained from pain, from indiscretions, from learning, from falling in love. Stronger now from life and living. Thankful for the series of events that have gotten her to the place she is at, no matter how much heartbreak, how much fear, and how much loss it took to get here.

That little girl is home again.

She is home and she is screaming, "I am magic!"

Because, don't we all have magic within us?

(The answer is yes. Don't forget that.)

Peace and Love.

Katelyn

I bid you farewell.

If you asked me if I would change anything about 2012 I'd have to say, no, I would not. Are there moments I wish never happened because of the growing pains that went along? Most definitely. But those moment were the ones that were necessary in order for me to grow not only as a mother but to grow into my own, fully. I've shown myself that I have more strength then I ever thought possible. Strength to use my words when I had to and even more strength to not use my words when caught in the cycle of ego.

Talking with my beautiful friend Rain tonight she mentioned her journey home to herself. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! That is exactly what this last year has been. The final push to my journey home, finally having home within myself. It's usually a road paved with obstacle, treachery and hardship but to overcome all that you come out on the other side into this glorious field of the most succulent wildflowers. I've made wildflower angels in this space.

This next year is about not only maintaining this beautiful field but to grow it deeper. Water it fully. Dig my hands in and make an impact. You, my love, my beautiful wild woman, soul sister, I am adorning you in wildflower crowns and bathing you in sweet scents of nectar. This is my holy land.

It's time you find your own field of wildflowers and together, we can cover the earth in dew covered petals grown in the light.

I thank you, my tribe of badass women, for holding space for me through this time of major upheaval and transition. I thank you, 2012, for this year of growth and learning. I thank you universe for taking us into the new age and bringing so much enlightenment, so much awareness and for helping to lighten the load of burden and of guilt I once carried.

So I ask you, m'dears, what can you leave behind in 2012 that no longer serves you?

Peace and Love.

Katelyn

Ceremoniously.

Hope you all had a happy and healthy Christmas.

Peace and Love.

Katelyn

Soak.

My advent windows word for today was "soak." My first thought immediately went to the bath I was planning to take this evening. I let the word reside in my head as I prepared and cleaned the house for the guided meditation my friend Jessica was hosting here.

It burrowed in. Got cozy. And did just that, soak.

Jessica called on her spirit guides to let her know how to guide us all. I loved watching her bless the land. She told me that the land and house has a wonderful energy. That it flowed well and worked in harmony with each other. What we had found out about the builders of the house, they intentionally built this house. They placed the house on the land in such a way to work with the trees and flow of the land instead of disrupting it. They put in huge windows in order to get as much natural light in the house. Joey and I both felt it had positive energy when we put in an offer. Then the realtor told us that information and it made even more sense. Jessica felt it as well. It was then reaffirmed again by all the guests that joined us today.

After blessing the land and setting the space and alter up guests started trickling in. Fluidity was the word for this ceremony. And fluid it was. The intention was to release negative thought patterns. Ask questions and ask for guidance. Part of my questioning was how I could help women and what I could offer. I released this to the fire, along with my dreads as this felt like the exact right time, and then soaked in the sun during the 8 minute time frame that the earth lined up with the center of the galaxy. After some research I found that during this 8 minute window of the earth aligning, the galaxy was sending an abundance of dark matter energy into our atmosphere. And it was here. Here for the harnessing. They say the pyramids were built for this reason. They are the perfect shape for collecting and storing energy. This energy is powerful and helps amplify that shift into a new consciousness. The consciousness where worry falls away and you feel at peace with yourself. At peace with your life. A shift of wanting to spread only love. A shift of not caring about more more more, bigger better best. I felt this shift and I am ready. I am doing. I felt the energy of those around me as they soaked this up as well. I felt overwhelmed with gratitude that this was happening around me, to me, through me. That this was happening on my land. In my home.

Do you realize how blessed we are? We are living in the time of the shift into awareness. Into a collective consciousness. We've moved together, as a world, from the dark age into the bronze age. I take you by the hand my brothers and sisters and walk into this new era, together, with love.

Energy is powerful on it's own but it needs to be worked with. Fed. Nourished. And loved. Don't let your energy become stagnant again. Work it every day.

A bit later Jessica did a clearing on me. She shared with me that the guides were and have been showing her a vision of me for some time now. A vision of me dipping white rose petals into a bowl of blessed water, brushing this water onto women. Cleansing them with it. She felt her and I have some strong work to do with healing women. Healing women from the damage that has been done through society. Offering gatherings.

She was unaware of the questions I had asked of the universe today.

Yeah. I hear you spirit.

Peace and Love.

Katelyn

Winter Solstice.

"Come to be now and lay your hands over me. Even if it's a lie say it will be alright and I shall believe." -Sheryl Crow

I am not going to lie. This last week has been filled with overwhelm. Filled with anxious energy and filled with just plain, I don't know, hardness. There's been many new revelations. But many opening into my depths that I am unsure of and afraid to acknowledge. This morning I woke up exhausted and irritable. Last night there was a huge blow out here that involved me crying in my closet. I am not sure if it is the energy leading up to today coupled with the move and Leena missing some people in our life but she has been expressing herself in uncontrollable fits of rage. I am trying to help her channel that anger into something that our family is unafraid of but more importantly into an outlet that SHE is not afraid of. She gets into this spiral of overwhelm and upset which turns into kicking, into screaming, into gagging and choking. It's very heartbreaking to watch. I wake up unable to just snap out of the funk I was in when I went to bed. I had been feeling a tad resentful and more so lost as a mother.

Right now though. Right now I choose to start this new age ready to accept and open to serve. I am opening my heart to the universe. I almost canceled our Yule gathering last night but Joey encouraged me not to and when I sat and reflected on it I got a message, loud and clear, that tonight was important. The gathering and ceremony needed to happen. I am consciously acknowledging my readiness to accept my purpose. Tonight. This year has been leading to this shift and I'm no longer scared of it.

I simply want to be. Be in the way that only one open to the vibrations can be. Living a life of purpose and honoring the spirit. This starts with today. The galactic alignment. Today with the start of embracing the Baba Yaga within with the start of the Apothecary Circle. Tonight with the ceremony of gathering around the fire, releasing and filling that empty space with positive, uplifting energy. Tomorrow with opening my house to the community.

I got to witness bees readying themselves for winter this morning. Buzzing around a magnolia tree by the hundreds. Gathering. Gathering. Gathering. The buzz and vibrations were intense and left the area around with a sense of peace. I felt it. Gaia is preparing the earth. And Gaia is preparing my soul.

Peace and Love.

Katelyn