Easing in.

Writing after so long seems a bit foreign but like I stumbled into a room that I know well. That I hold dear and with only love. But to come back to it after weeks, after a vacation, I stumble and I realize that I need to allow my body, my mind the space to ease back in. Into life really.

It was good to see my family after 3 years and to explore my childhood a bit with being back in my hometown, but I felt as if I was finally on the outside looking in. Any time we visited after moving to Louisiana I felt this deep longing to be back "home" in Southern California. Like part of my heart was missing, and although a part of my heart still resides in Santa Clarita, CA I now feel at home, here. In the place I probably fit in the least, this is my home. I know there is a reason we are here. A reason I am building my offerings from here, spreading my wings and telling fear to go freeload somewhere else, here. ​I have this deep sense of the work to be done. The sacred work this area needs. And I am settling in. For as long as spirit says to just trust and get cozy.

Do you feel at home where you live? What is a way you could spread out and cozy on in, if not?​

And I took a leap of faith. I trusted in spirit hard and launched my first ritual kit in the shop. Through my learning of releasing and finally knowing I am free from the gremlins that were infesting my body, Cording was born. Do you have something that you have just been struggling with releasing? It's a kit from my heart to yours. To help you, hold you, in this safe space to let it go, love. ​

For the next week I am offering $5 off the physical kit. ​Click here.

Only love,​

Katelyn

The Brink

When life and death intertwines. It seems to always intertwine. Life and death, merging, working together. As when a soul enters into human existence it teeters, on the edge, on the brink. How delicate the birth processes are. How delicate the death processes are. To float in between, between the realms of human existence and spiritual existence. In a way, we are constantly finding this balance. Sometimes we need to swim in the waters of crossing over to really know how to come into the realm of physically being.​ Eyes not focusing, heart rate slowing. Gearing up to take the world, full speed ahead. And then, that exhale. That deep release into allowing the soul to settle into your human flesh. Foreign at first.

Being let into women's birthing spaces is something I don't take lightly. I leave all my anxieties outside. I enter and remove my shoes. Wash my hands. A physical representation of the cleansing I am mentally doing. Meditate and set a circle of protection around everyone involved and the space we are sharing for the day. Then, I slowly enter. I peel back a little bit of the protective circle and close myself within. I immerse. It could be the first time I am meeting you in the physical sense but once I enter that circle, you are forever a part of my life and I am forever a part of yours. I honest to goodness do not take that lightly. ​

As a baby emerges from the soft, comforting space of his or her mother's womb it really is a balancing act. And, well, I am processing it all. Being shown just how easily a soul can slip away and then reenter again, into their physical body, it's just something that will change you, no matter what. I am humbled to watch the teetering. To bear witness to the cycle. ​To be able to fully celebrate a little soul, really fighting for it's spot in this earth. And by god, do they fight.

​None of this may make sense and maybe it's not supposed to. It doesn't make sense fully in my own mind. All I know is that yes, I am processing.

And today? Today changed me.

Welcome little fighter soul.​

Love and light.​

Katelyn

Hello, love.

Oh March. How you bring promises. Big promises of growth and rebirth. Ostara, spring equinox. Blossoming and blooming. Watching not only the earth come out of hibernation, but watching beautiful souls find their purpose, sending love and growth into the world and their own inner world. ​

My sister has been visiting and she will be driving with me, to go back home, from Louisiana to California, as I visit, for my family to finally all meet Penelope. They haven't seen her for skin to skin hugs and kisses and haven't seen Leena in years. My sister is continually remarking how crazy it is to see Leena as a big kid, speaking in fluid sentences, with grammar she would not expect an almost five year old to be using. And I am more finding it hard to believe that it's been over two years since I've last seen my eldest sister. Probably over three. ​This time together is nice and much needed.

March is the month of my birth, my grandmother's birth and my father in law's birth.​ I'm taking the Sage Goddess' Spring Magical Sabbatical and looking forward to the Spring Equinox Workshop by Elisabeth M. Stone.

March is a month for serious magic making. I'm joining forces with some other seriously talented ladies for an amazing offering. I can't wait for it to launch. Soon, loves. Stay tuned. ​

What are your plans for this spring? What's your favorite part of celebrating spring, and just general spring time happenings?​

I wish you all a very happy weekend. And a note of house keeping, ​I am stocking the shop a bit today. Adding a few new products and blessed rain water will be back in stock.

​The shop will remain open while I am in California but orders placed after tomorrow Saturday, March 2nd, won't ship until the third week of March, after the 19th. 

Love and light.​

Katelyn

P.S. If you are interested in following along daily on our lives and our California adventure then find me on Instagram, name: Gypsymothsol.​

Release the craken.

I did it. I jumped heart first into sending ​my soul work into the world. If you haven't noticed, I have been quiet here as I set up shop and finally got the courage up to launch my herbal line into the world. This is the start of a LOT of goodies and not only physical goodies but spiritual goodies. I am in the process of well, processing. I have a couple ebooks and/or ecourses that are surfacing, slowly. With choosing vulnerability as a strength instead of the societal perceived weakness, doors are opening. Eyes are opening. My own internal eyes. My guides are speaking, louder now then I have ever felt and heard before.

And what changed? I asked. I opened that space for communication because I finally felt able to communicate. I finally gave up expectation of myself with how I "should" talk to them. How I "should" have a relationship with the higher power(s). And that, that is liberating.

And no, I wasn't quite ready for the floodgates opening of being shown my purpose and a mile long list of medicine to create, medicine to offer. The intention I have to put out there. To offer you.​ Of having doors open and teachers come into my life that are just perfect for me. The mass of women, and men, surrounding me saying, "Yes, yes! This is what you are here for, this is what you are meant to do! Let me help support you and lift you up!" It has been a whirlwind of emotions and a whirlwind learning to simply trust.

When it clicked, that feeling of trust just being the norm instead of the exception, the overwhelm dissipated. The fog of uncertainty lifted. And I? I got answers. I got answers and understanding and the all knowing nod of "yes." The whisper of, "This is it, yes, run child. Be set free from the confines of your own mind." And also the not so quiet whisper of, "About fucking time you listened!" Yes. My spirit guides have a potty mouth and my soul work does too.

So it is, my loves. I am here and I am bringing all I have out of the dark and into the light. I am a lightworker. A lightbearer. And I am here to hold space for you. Hold you in the light. Hold your pain and worry. Hold it without it holding me. And to then, let it go gently. I am learning this. How to not take on others pain personally but personally. If that makes sense. To hold it and feel it. Help with learning the path to release and then, hand in hand, releasing it together. You are not alone, dear one. You are not.​

If you haven't already, go click on the "herbal" tab up top and check out my shop. Starting small and building slowly. Whatever spirit shows me, I will follow. I bring my best intentions into my work. Making sure to not work on my offerings in a cloudy mind space. If I am frustrated or angry, overwhelmed or sad, I will not touch a thing. I will NOT infuse that into my medicine. ​My tinctures that will be released for sale during the summer are made by either new moon energy or full moon energy. I surround my herbs and my space with crystals to infuse into the atmosphere and the energy of this work. I hope all the best for you and all the healing I have have been given to offer has been brought to the table.

Thank you for allowing me the space to be self focused for a little while, while getting this launched and into the world. Thank you to those sending me messages of love and holding me in the light. I would have a hard time accepting but now, now I am ready to accept others love and encouragement with my whole heart. Thank you. Thank you.​

I love you all.​

Love and light.​

*And the title of this post is dedicated to a dear friend Elisabeth M. Stone.​ An inside joke that just felt right for this.

Snake Medicine

The other day I set out to search for feathers, for one to show itself to me to send to a good friend. Instead, I stumbled upon snake skin and bones. I knew that this was mama Gaia stepping in to teach me a lesson. One-don't search for the feathers. You will find them when the time is right. Two-Snake medicine has come to visit you for a bit. Learn my star-child. Learn.

Well, hello there Mister Serpent. Yes, I am ready to learn from you and I don't think we've met before but my name is Katelyn.

"Snake ceremonies involved learning to transmute the poisons within the body after being bitten many times. Survival of this world would then enable the individual to transmute all poisons--physical or otherwise. It activated the energy of kill or cure, ultimately leading to dramatic healings." *

I have been feeling them, snake, the bites. And the ones that hurt the most? When I bite myself. I have been learning to transmute and quiet this noise. The noise that aims to keep myself from going to where I am meant to. To fulfill my purpose, my destiny.

Your keynotes, dear snake, are rebirth, resurrection, initiation, and wisdom*.
And I am seeing how each one of those is playing a role in my life right now. Through the dramatic spiritual growth that has been happening, even daily. The resurfacing of old wounds to finally deal with and lay to rest. The way I am kept on my toes working off of very little sleep and a whole lot of ideas to initiate. The wisdom that has been brought into my life by dear friends, beautiful teachers, and even the depths of my soul, past and present.

I am learning from your ways of unhinging. To unhinge and take in ample amounts of information at once. Process. Sit with. Absorb. Digest. The digest is a bit tricky, as some information gets trapped inside for a bit. But, I swallow the pill. I let it heal me. I let the medicine consume my body. And I am learning to trust that it IS healing me, from the inside out.

Dear friends, what can you learn from snake?

I was taught a beautiful meditation with snake. Sit with him. Imagine the poison being aimed at you, daggers shot at you, especially the ones from within, imagine them entering through the head. Direct this poison down. Down through your body, but avoid your heart. Do not let the poison seep into your heart. Push it down through your stomach, past your thighs, down your calves, and out the soles of your feet. Repeat this as many times as needed. Take all the negative thoughts poisoning your gorgeous soul, love, take it and transmute it. Quiet the noise. Quiet the raging waters.

"When snake comes into your life you can look for a rebirth of new powers of creativity and wisdom." *

Love and light.

Katelyn

*excerpts taken from Animal Speak by Ted Andrews.

Being Held.

After taking sometime to hold myself in the light, the negative voices telling me I wasn't good enough or wasn't worthy of the love I show others have left the building. I am worthy and good enough. I do know this. I did, I held myself, pretty damn hard. I squeezed and wouldn't let go until the thoughts had no choice but to submit to the love and learn to love the light. The negative was turned into the light and became a huge source of motivation for me.

Don't you hate that? When you are going along, living a life of purpose, then BAM! Darkness creeps in. I think I gave too much of my good mojo, witchy woo-woo, whatever you want to call it, away at one time and didn't keep enough to sustain me at the moment. And I am actually okay with that because I was holding some really amazing women as tight as I could. They needed it way more than I did at that time. But, I have learned when to take a bit of space for myself to recoup. Recover and re-energize. I have learned how to sustain myself so I do not burn myself out again.

I fully expect that I will have those moments of darkness, even after awareness happens, life still gives you the ups and downs. I do not expect life to be constant streams of light because sometimes you just have to sit in the scary dark because it has lessons, important lessons, to teach as well. What is that saying?

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." -Galileo

Yes, beautiful stars. If there was never any darkness, we'd never have reason to appreciate the light. We'd never see the twinkling of stars and the glow of the moon. And through the darkness, we see the best in humanity, the best in ourselves.

And you'll see, lovely sisters and brothers, that when you start holding yourself and holding others, that the universe has love to show you. Love to pour out to you. I am learning to accept being held by others and by the universe. It always provides.
Thank you, sweet soul sisters, who have been holding me. Either through letters in the mail, gifts from the heart, emails, messages, and so on. I feel your embrace. I feel your love. And oh, OH am I ever so appreciative. Thank you. Thank you.

The pouring out of love has come in the form of feathers from lovely soul sisters helping me to build a smudge fan filled with love, filled with good energies and filled with loving intention.

It also came in the form of surprise gifts in the mail that were so filled with love. This was the kind of gift that made tears well up in my eyes out of the thoughtfulness of others. The kindness of women who you don't need to know in the physical world to be connected with, it's astounding.

I feel held.

Only love and light,

Katelyn

P.S. If you are called to send a feather along for my smudge fan, one found in nature not purchased from a store, I would love it and cherish it. You can send it along to Katelyn Demidow P.O. Box 1474 Sulphur, LA 70664

Holding myself.

Getting out of the "logical" brain is hard for me. Although lately, I've been floating in the aether so much and have been forgetting to come back down into the earthly realm and ground myself. I've been criticizing myself very harshly and taking things to heart that I should just be letting go. I've been fighting demons from my past and trampling myself down for my past misgivings. 

When awareness happens, it doesn't mean life will be all sunshine and rainbows. With me, I had been floating on cloud nine and suddenly and fiercely the shadow has come and memories have been flooding me. Memories I would rather forget but I also know forgetting teaches me nothing. I learn nothing by forgetting. I must remember. For remembering and sitting with these memories of my past misgivings is how I will overcome and with that it brings growth. These last three months or so have been many bandaid-ripping-off moments that as much as they hurt, I am working on accepting the pain. I have learned that with pain, especially pain you have inflicted on yourself, you can either wallow in it or you can embrace it as an old friend. Don't get me wrong. I've been wallowing this week but I am giving myself the space to do so. I'm getting muddy and filthy. I am sitting in the muck right now because feeling this helps me to feel what I have put out into the world at one point in my life. What I have put on others, unknowingly at the time. And feeling that helps me to learn how to not do that, ever again.

After a conversation with a friend about my aversion to baths, going in the oceans, I was told by two separate teachers, two very in tune wild women, two healers, to make peace with the waters. To draw up a bath and fill it with salt and any other items I find fitting and to submit to the healing the waters had to offer. To not think about it logically, why I have this aversion, but to simply feel it. I have been working magick for many women around me during this time, but why do I not work magick for myself? Why do I not hold space for myself? This is changing. My healing will involve me taking a bath every night, even if that means I must do so with kids splashing with me. My healing will involve me getting outside everyday to work in nature, with nature.

It's a funny thing, to be simultaneously working on grounding myself everyday and to work within the water to heal our relationship. And thank you, for all those who have holding me in this space, allowing me the time to whine and grieve over my past actions and choices. Also, thank you to Laura for sending me to this beautiful article which has helped me to understand what I am working through.

Peace and Love,

Katelyn

Soothing waters.

Come to me my child and bathe yourself in the waters.

Stand in awe of my beauty,

Wash yourself.

Wash yourself.

I call to you, sweet wondrous woman.

I will cradle you.

Together we shall make magic.

Together we shall be one.

Honor that I am within you.

Honor that you are me.

There is nothing to fear m'dear,

For even in my great power,

You are the waters.

You are power.

Wash yourself,

Of this fear.

And make peace.

This is my peace offering mama ocean, wondrous waters. I will dress you up in flower petals and candlelight. I will fill you with essential oils and soothing salts. And I will bathe in you. I will make peace with you, Melusine. I make peace with you, Poseidon.

I will adorn my bath waters tonight and start my healing immersed in the waters.

Love and Light.

Katelyn

The Art of Holding Space

A dear friend of mine, teacher and mentor sits tonight. Sits tonight with grief and sorrow. Sits tonight with defamation of character at the hands of malicious intent. I know her heart and her soul. And you all, it's gorgeous and filled with the most beautiful golden light. She emanates this high buzzing energy. But mainly, she exudes love. Ooey gooey love. My heart is heavy for her tonight.

Tonight she bleeds out little Eve, her 11th little soul baby that has briefly existed in this earthly realm through the comforts of her womb. Tonight her soul weeps for loss and aches for answers.

When you can't hold someone physically, you can be mindful and intentional about holding them in your heart and soul. Holding space for them. Today, in the crisp, not too sure if it's winter or spring air, I held. I held close and tight. Laura Em, I hope you felt it.

I gathered thirteen quartz points. Two large. Laura Em and Tyler. Eleven small. Each soul baby. Eve included. With written intentions and prayers infusing the space, I dug my hands in the dirt. I buried the crystals. The large ones side by side with prayers on top. Moist dirt holding it close in the earth. One by one I buried the last eleven. Spiraling around. Holding momma and daddy within their womb from the spiritual realm.

Adorned with calendula petals, lavender buds, snail shells Leena collected and wild flowers she picked, then topped with deep purple berries, the spiral was complete.

On a hill by our future garden, you are held.

In my heart and my soul, you are held.

Sometimes space holding comes in the form of moist earth under fingernails and sea salt caramels bubbling away on the stove.

And I promise. All dirt was removed from underneath my fingernails before creating caramels.

Only Love.

Katelyn

I am magic.

I've touched on a bit how when I was younger I felt this magical presence within my body. I had forgotten about it over the years as I conformed more to religion and less to myself. Locked away behind a hundred tiny doors where these missing pieces of me. The keys were lost for a great deal of time.

Slowly digging my hands in I would unearth a precious little key and open a door here and a door there. Turn a corner to another locked door. Confused, but hopeful the keys would show themselves to me. Soul sisters, warrior women, baba yagas, they helped light lanterns, put a flame to unlit candles and dig with me in the dark shadowy places, the night, unaware of the impact they had on my search. A treasure hunt. Words guiding me. And intuition as my Polaris.

A couple weeks ago a very essential key was found. Hidden in plain sight. Waiting at my feet with a little note attached that said, "It is time." No longer hesitant and with a sure heart, I indeed agreed. It is time. I unlocked the door and was flooded with a feeling I wasn't quite expecting.

Relief.

I feel myself. Completely. Wholly.

Immersing myself in this magical realm, I find familiarity. I find that heart of a little girl, who believed in herself, now residing in my chest alongside knowledge gained from pain, from indiscretions, from learning, from falling in love. Stronger now from life and living. Thankful for the series of events that have gotten her to the place she is at, no matter how much heartbreak, how much fear, and how much loss it took to get here.

That little girl is home again.

She is home and she is screaming, "I am magic!"

Because, don't we all have magic within us?

(The answer is yes. Don't forget that.)

Peace and Love.

Katelyn